I have many friends, but not everyone seems to like me. What do I do to make them like me?
I think this is a question that most of the not so social people ask. People like me. I am the shy, silent, only talks when asked type of person. I usually don’t open up to people around me that fast, even if I have been with them for quite some time. The thing is, some people just don’t understand me of how I think and how I look at things. So I tend to observe them first and let them talk first.
The Kinds of people
There are people who likes being listened to. In other words, they are the talkers. There are also people who likes to just sit and listen to the talkers. There are also people who likes to talk and does not want anybody to listen. Well, not literally – but because of how they talk people will not want to listen to them.
The people who likes to be listened to
For me, people who likes to talk a lot, likes to be listened to (obviously). They will not feel comfortable if they could not have a conversation with someone in a day. These type of people usually end up famous or having a big network of friends. I think that when these type of people are deprived of social interaction, they tend to get a bit restless. So they can be found usually in bars, restaurants, coffee shops, and other public domain places.
The people who likes to listen
For me, the people who likes to listen most of the time are people who may have a lack of self confidence. They usually won’t admit this, but deep inside there is a feeling of not wanting to show to the world and be placed on the spotlight. I do not mean though that they need to overcome this seeming lack of self confidence since everything has its place. I for one, belong to this type of person. Being in the spotlight is like placing me in a crowd with my pants off. As I said, there are things which I prefer not to share because people just sometimes don’t get or understand how I look at things. Well, they might if I explain to them more.
Telling people what you think
For me, there is no harm done when you tell someone what you think. But if you disturb something that they have been holding on or believed for a long time and you spoke something that contradicts this, then you will notice a change in his/her facial expression, tone of voice, or just an awkward silence. Usually, when I am having a discussionand this happens – I tend to let my thoughts die down slowly. It doesn’t mean that I do not want to share, but in my experience – changing a perception of the person’s mental box cannot be done in just one conversation. What I have learned is that people who are in a specific situation have a more likely chance of changing their perception than when they are not in a certain situation. For example, if a person is in a debt crisis, the person’s mental box is shaken and disturb by the situation. When this happens, the person is much more open to welcoming new perspective and suggestions from other people about finances and debt management.
For me, to be likable is to first like yourself. When you first like yourself, you will build that feeling of not wanting to be liked by everyone. Sounds ironic right? But this is what I have learned and still learning, people tend to be annoyed by people who seem to be trying to hard to be liked. The more you chase them, the more they move father from you. Be who you are and the genuine people who really like you will just come magically and like you with no hard effort coming from you. For example me. I am writing this blog not because I want to be liked by many people – I write this blog because this is who I am. I like to write and express myself. I don’t quite care if no one sees this blog, the thing is that I want to leave a mark on the internet. I have made several personal websites of myself and they all got wiped out because I made it on a free hosting service and now the hosting service went bye-bye. Luckily, WordPress seems to be more stable in terms of providing free service. Thumbs up for WordPress! If ever this entry amused you – I thank you! it is a pleasure.
- What It’s Like Being An Introvert (thoughtcatalog.com)
- Don’t Talk to Me. I Might Just Bore You (innermagicclub.wordpress.com)
- What Does Female Friendship Mean To You? (mokmakell.wordpress.com)